Well R. S-S

What can I say, thank you for acknowledging all my hard work, however I don't think it was all down to me. many many other people would appear to have been involved some even as far away as China and America but I can assure you I did my bit.

I made sure that the shelves were fully stocked (even with their expensive own brand Whiskey) and that the shop was ready to welcome our loyal customers from the surrounding area. 

The normal course of events means that Terry Leahy will no doubt show his appreciation by giving all the staff a free buffet lunch to thank us for our efforts in making all this profit. One thing I can assure you is that the staff will not see a penny of that profit, but hey ho we do have a job in these difficult times.

Frankie was indeed correct in suggesting that the profit was not down to me and was far more realistic by highlighting their unique pricing policy which I have been caught out by.

I used to buy their own brand ground coffee for £1.69 per bag that is until it suddenly within a week shot up to £3.28, it stayed like that for about a month when it was then advertised as over 50% off coming back down as a promotion to £1.59 per bag.

The rule of thumb that I now use is to be more selective when I buy things but perhaps Frankie can look forward to the whiskey being on promotion in about four weeks time.

Please note that the above is not an advert for the corner shop more of an observation.

I will do my best not to choke on my free cold buffet lunch which because by the time I get to it  at 2.00am the sandwiches will have curled up at the edges and the cake will have dried out and the crisps will have gone soggy, I will actually have more chance of catching salmonella as the last hot chicken leg off the deli counter will have been sat around for about seven hours before I get to eat it. 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Tery Leahy as I might otherwise be engaged with the toliet bowl.

Jake 

Well good afternoon to you both

What can I say...........! as it happens my wife re stocks the health & beauty section and she does have a remarkable ability to complain about the amount of product that seems to appear at the wrong time of year, so Fedup you do have my sympathy. Tesco obviously work on the principle that being hardy folk adults in this area we do not need cough medicine in the winter but children always have a cold. Regarding the antihistamine tablets they realise that we are canny people and that we like a bargin around here, in truth they were more than likely just selling off last years stock at a knock down price which was more than likely double what you paid during the summer months.

Now Fedup I am sorry to tell you that the dirty carrot may become a thing of the past. I note that in todays Mail on Sunday Sainsbury's are going to be selling the "no need to peel carrot" The producers say the British grown carrot are not only vibrantly orange in colour, but have softer skins due to high powered polishing. Sainsbury's is the only supermarket to use the Wyma vege-polisher which lightens skin and removed any residue. So gone is the dirty carrot and now we have the polished carrot that does not need peeling, isn't the world a wonderful place.

R. S-S attemp to develope a new kind of carpet seems quite interesting, harvesting a crop from it whilst leaving a nice green textured carpet under foot, it does put a new twist on that phrase "our green an pleasant land" more innovative thinking, I like it......!  I also suspect that he was trying to get some winter use out of his Flymo no point leaving it in the shed all winter.

I do feel for R. S-S, he grows a misshapen carrot and immediatley sees his opportunity for fame and fortune but Esther Rantzen's lack of foresight and a dog saying "Sausages" takes the dream away from him, how sad, I suspect she kept it and spent the next few weeks showing it off down the pub telling everybody that she grew it, it's a hard life.

Well enough of this fun and excitement, time to get someting to eat before I go back to the corner shop.

Jake

 Just tried polishing some carrots we had in the veg bin, Brasso doesn't work neither does silver polish, am I doing something wrong?

Tried teaching our dog to say "carrots" she didn't seem very interested, so no chance of fame & fortune for me by the looks of things. My wife started giving me some strange looks and questioned the medication I'm on, gone for a lie down now.

Edited by user 26 April 2009 18:02:23(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

Just when you all thought Sainsbury’s had cracked it with the “no peel carrot” you can read in today’s Daily mail about the team from The Corner Shop, who, later this week will be introducing the first non-leak tomato into their stores.

Emma Pettitt the supermarkets tomato buyer said “The arrival of the non leaking tomato may be heralded by sarnie fans as the best thing to hit the sandwich since sliced bread” she goes on to tell us “that tomatoes are popular but unfortunately their juiciness sometimes means that by lunchtime a salad sarnie resembles a piece of wet cardboard and from now on that will be a thing of the past”.

I know its exciting isn’t it but she goes even further “Tomatoes can be tricky to chop and a squirt of juice can end up on the kitchen wall or over your shirt. The non leak tomato will stop that problem without losing any of its taste”.

Please note that Tesco do sell tile cleaners, washing powder and shirts, to clean and replace those items that have been badly affected by wayward tomato juice.

All I can do is apologise I think she must have been drunk at the time she was interviewed.

Fedup will no doubt be disgusted by this latest revelation but I do think we need to take our hats off to Terry Leahy and present him with this year’s most useless innovation award and look to having the horticulturalist that developed this tomato sectioned.

Just got to do the advert now as we need the money “they will come in punnets of four and will cost a very reasonable 99p” not quite as expensive as our petrol.

I expect that the queues this weekend will stretch back into the Town centre with people wanting to buy these tomatoes for Mondays pack up, please come early to avoid disappointment 

Rest assured I will always try to bring you the hot news and gossip from The Corner Shop.

Jake

 

Edited by user 28 April 2009 10:31:45(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified